In the second version, the pauses and the commas are at the wrong place. Granted, the old man could stand on his head, a top hat could stick on his feet, he might carry his shoes in his left hand and have a conductor's baton in his mouth. But a cigarette can't be lost in thoughts. It is in his mouth, the baton in his hand, the shoes are on his feet and the top hat is on his head. The old man stands in front of the narrator.